How fucking hard can it be to make a cup of coffee?
At the hotel we have an expresso machine which the owners put in in a well meaning but sadly misguided attempt to encourage the locals off their somewhat less wholesome beverages of choice. It really is an impressive looking bit of kit too. You can make Cappucino's, Expresso's, Americanos, Earlies, Lattes, Double Mochas, even Tripple Salko's With Pikes on it. Or at least you could if it ever bastard worked. I swear to god the engineer spends more time looking at our coffee machine than he does his own wife. It is prone to more breakdowns than Britney Spears and I have taken to calling it Girls Aloud in that while it looks fucking fantastic and no doubt everyone wants one, it is still about as much use as a fart in a wind tunnel.
Part of the problem is of course that it is too complicated. Apollo 11 came with fewer buttons than this thing. It has more moving parts than a Model T Ford, more pipes than St Pauls Cathedrals organ and more idiots trying to operate it than reside in your local nut house. Add all that lot together and you have got one fatal bloody combination.
Oh well, I'm just off to see if your man has got it fired up again for the fifteenth time this week. If you are in the area please feel free to pop in for a brew. It might be an idea to bring your own kettle though.....