Saucier than 69ing in a sauna. Messier than mating with a menstrating monkey. Its rough, its tough, its got more spunk than Brian Clough. Its Dirty Joke Friday!!!!!

Three men on holiday come across a bedouin tribe in the desert and it isn't long before they are caught getting jiggy with the ladies of the harem. The three are bought before the furious chief who tells them that their punishment will be decided by what they do for a living and asks the first what his job is.
'I'm a policeman' admits the guy..
'OK. Says the chief, in that case we will shoot your cock off. And what do you do?' he asks the second.
'I'm a fireman' says the next guy.
'Great' says the chief 'we will burn your dick off. And what about you?' he shouts at the third.
'Who me?' says the guy grinning like a loon 'Oh I'm a lollipop salesman'!!!!

The drunk stumbles into the Catholic church and falls arse over tit into the confessional box. Two minutes later the priest arrives and sits in the other box and taps on the partition. The drunk ignores him so he taps again. Still the pissed up parishioner fails to take any notice. So the priest bangs for a third time only for the drunk to shout 'No point knocking mate, the dirty fuckers have nicked the paper out of this one too'!!!!

Paris Hilton decides she has had enough of screwing experienced men and wants to see what it would be like to have her way with a virgin. So she dispatches her flunkies to find her a likely lad and after months of looking they discover a fella in the Australian outback and sends him to New York to pop his cherry.
Well the guy walks into her bedroom and starts shunting all the furniture out into the hallway. 'What the hell do you think you are doing' cries Paris.
'Look' says the guy 'its true that I've never shagged a Sheila before but if its anything like doing a kangaroo I'm gonna need all the room I can get'!!!!

One morning Bob wakes up to find his penis has grown 2 inches overnight. He is understandably over the moon with this but when the same thing happens for the next fortnight as well, making his todger touch the floor, his missus suggests they best go to the doctor.
'Ah this is actually rather common' says the quack 'A simple operation will put things right'.
'Oh thats good' says the wife 'and how long will he be on crutches for?'
'Why the hell would he be on crutches?' asks the doc.
'Well' says the woman 'You are planning to lengthen Bobs legs aren't you?'!!!!

And finally its your one and only Disaster Joke From The Archive.

I turned on BBC News 24 the other night and was shocked to be faced with gratuitous pornography. I had expected wall to wall coverage of the death of Pope John Paul II but I hadn't banked on seeing 20,000 nuns gawping at a stiff!!!!

See's ya later!!!!