Ok ok, what with Aruna Dindanes hatrick against Wigan being a somewhat distant memory, I've changed my mind. My blog, my rules and all that. But really, how the fuck can there be an all powerful deity if I am in a position to post at seven o pissing clock on a Sunday morning? Which merciful master of the universe would allow anyone to be awake at such an unnatural hour much less waiting for a bastard bus? And which piss taking celestial guardian would be sick enough, make that perverse enough, to let me run out of sugar resulting in me awaiting the aforementioned conveyance without even so much as a mug of wakey wakey juice inside me to make the whole horrific experience just that little bit more bearable?
No folks. If you are reading this while getting ready to go to church, do yourself a favour and go back to bed. You are wasting your time completely. There is definately no god. We are but a giant experiment of some mad bastard scientist who looks like Doc out of the Back To The Future films and who is currently holding us in a fuck off great test tube and laughing his bollocks off at our miserable misfortune while deciding what evil shit to throw at us next.
Or at least he would be if he wasn't still tucked up in bed stacking zzzz's. Exactly where I should be now.....