Oh dear god. Its nearly that time of the year again when ITV goes into mental mode overdrive and presents another bunch of wankwits, has beens and never weres for us to watch acting like tits and generally trying to do a Lazarus job on careers that most of us had forgotten had even existed in a jungle.
Great. Just fucking great.
I have just had a quick butchers at the cast of this years freakfest and am proud to announce I have beaten my record. I have actually heard of three of this series contestants which is, well, three more than usual.
Go ITV. Well done for finding a new barrel to scrape. Sam Fox of course was once famous for getting her baps out so I suppose that kind of qualifies her as a celebrity. Jimmy White was well known for getting to the World Snooker Championship final year after year then getting banjoed all over the baize by Steve Davis. And Kim Woodburn I sort of recognise from one of those gruesome programmes on the lower end of the Sky box that my mother is inexplicably devoted to but which make me want to lose my dinner. As for the rest though? Nope. Aint got a scooby.
I mean who the fuck are Colin Mcallister and Justin Ryan? The paper says they are interior designers so I guess we can look forward to them filling their tent with scatter cushions and pastel air beds, but beyond that how does a taste for patterned sofas and strategically placed futons allow them to be called a celeb? Beats me.
And then there is the 'acting' contingent. Lucy Benjamin anyone? No me neither although it says here she was in East Enders so at least she is used to dealing with pond life. Stuart Manning? Apparently he was something big in Hollyoaks and may once have shagged Lulu which I suppose will stand him in good stead if he has to get his teeth into any stick insects on a bush tucker trial. George Hamilton? According to my rag he starred in the Godfather Part III so at least it could get lively if he decides to leave a horses head in the interior designers sleeping bags.
As for the rest, god only knows. I suppose I could Google in order to supply you with a somewhat more informed post but forgive me. I really couldnt give the drippings of a tramps todger about this drivel And thats without even considering the goons presenting the whole shower of shite. I think my now traditional pre Christmas boycott of all things Meridian shall continue for another year. Any chance we could petition the makers to send it the same way as Big Brother?