Heres one from this mornings paper that fairly startled me I can tell you. Schools in Spain are to start giving their pupils lessons in how to Jack (and presumably Jill) off. Oh well at least Rafa Benitez is guaranteed a job as a teacher once Liverpool wake up and sack him.
But to be fair I really didn't think strangling Kojak was one of those activities in which extra tuition was required. Of course (despite the evidence I displayed on the dance floor last night) I would never claim to be a Master Bator, and I suppose its possible that my technique has had certain deficencies over the last couple of decades, but given that things have always, ahem, come to a satisfactory conclusion I think I can safely assume I have been doing something right without any additional aid from the education department.
And how are the Spanish going to teach this anyway. One would hope it would be all theory but what if they did decide to throw in a practical module too? If you were the school cleaner you would be banging on the headmasters door demanding danger money wouldn't you? And how exactly do they propose to assess the kids? On speed? Quantity? Distance and accuracy? It doesn't bear thinking about. And surely having someone watch over you making remarks and writing in an assessment form would be enough to put you off your stroke as it were.
Oh well, lets just hope this somewhat original form of sex education remains unique to our Iberian cousins and doesn't cross the Bay of Biscay to these shores. I don't wish to be unkind but acording to all the available evidence we have enough little wankers running around as it is.